So here it is. There's a few issues with the sound, there's a few lines of distorted expository dialogue over the intro which you may not be able to hear. Anyway, I'm not a sound designer, that'll be their job. A few changes decided AFTER I made this. Tegan, you wanna explain one of em? Any issues, let me know. if something isn't clear etc etc...
Also, don't be distracted by the System of a Down track used, it's all i could find to suit the mood. I know it's long, but only has 2:09 mins of actual animation in it. the rest is stills and badly animated wolf which is very easy to do.
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you wouldn't believe the amount of times I had to compress this to get it under 100MB.
ReplyDeleteI'm not feeling it just yet, it needs a bit of tightening up...If anyone can tell where, sound off...
Basically, one of the changes is that after Wolf's first reveal, he doesn't seem to react - except to immediately become a show off and dance away down the street. I figured, with a crowd that previously hated him, he'd be more inclined to run off - so the shot of him walking down the street would start probably as him backing away from the crowd, then he'd realise that they are cheering him and then he'd prance off all happy like. I hope you follow me.
ReplyDeleteI think that maybe there is a problem with his second reveal... I can't quite place why though, it seems maybe it needs a little more expectation to build up to it... Not trying to add time to the film, of course, just that sequence needs tweaking up a bit, I think.
Also, I suggest that over the time lapse part, where Dog is hanging out outside, that we still hear the doctor complaining that there is nothing else he can do - think it'll set up the next reveal a bit more.
I'm agreed with Ricky though, it needs some tightening up but I can't figure out what it is that it needs...
Come on people...I need to know what's wrong with it so I can fix it!
ReplyDelete(I'm writing this here so I don't forget when I re-edit) Mark says ending needs more time to resonate. I agree, it speeds past and there's not enough time to feel the change in Wolf as he realizes people are fleeing FROM him.
ReplyDeleteAgree with that too.
ReplyDeleteI've been thinking too, that even though the beginning is good... I think it is too long. I like it, buuuut... I think you could cut it where you get Wolf outlined in the window, to the credits, with the appropriate voice over, and you'd still get the point across that he is trying to fix himself, he already looks like a hermit and closed off from society with that opening. I know that wouldn't cement his relationship with Dog at all, but it'd make it much snappier.
I know I pointed out his second reveal already, but there really is no drama to it, he is in there, he comes out, they follow... I know the wondeful dance sequence comes at that point but his appearance doesn't seem to warrant the following dance sequence, if ye get me. The characters don't seem excited by him.
There may be more as I think about it...
Keep em comin'.
ReplyDeleteMaybe we need a more of a reaction shot for the second reveal, to make him seem more amazing.
I already relayed this to Teegs but I'll post it here for your benifit. I said to teegs that the first animatic seemed more paced as you had very strong images in 3's. 1.waiting in surgery 2. Walking (being animated in a different way) 3. The sally britty poster. This all happening 3 times. I think it gave a bigger punch as you sort of knew what was coming (until he come out all horrid of course). Now it just seems a bit jumbled and in places confusing, though I do like the timelapse with the weather. I don't know I just think the repitition worked better then each scene being slightly different, as it is now. Hopes this helps a little.
ReplyDeleteGood advice. Agreed. It needs the recurring motif to reinforce the story!
ReplyDelete